ABOUT OUR FOUNDER

THE MIND BEHIND THE MISSION

      If you’ve landed on this website, the chances are you might be someone like me… Someone with what can only be accurately described as a ‘kinky’ sexuality. But what does that mean?

      Society’s understanding of kinks, fetishes and paraphilias is still immature. Still incomplete. Whilst such things are an innate part of the spectrum of natural human sexual behaviour, just like being gay or straight, most BDSM practices are still taboo and frowned upon by the masses. I want to help change that by showing that people with kinky sexualities are not monsters, weirdos, perverts and deviants.

      Science, and the field of psychology, is still yet to understand what causes paraphilias in human sexual development, but there are strong indicators that it's linked to early childhood experiences during the time sexual interests first start to take form. And yet, despite it being something an individual has little to no control over, it doesn’t stop them from being shamed, ridiculed and ostracised.

      I want this brand, Defiant Deviants, to become a vital key player in driving societal change and scientific advancement within this niche. I want to combine my anecdotal experiences with my professional expertise to become a voice for the voiceless, and make real change in the lives of those who need it; those who are like me.

      During adolescence (whilst going through the hormonal fluctuations of puberty), I found myself unable to resist the temptation of staring in fascination at all of the pretty girls’ feet and footwear. I discovered pretty early on that I had a bizarre attraction to this specific part of the female body, and I always wondered why I had this part of me that I couldn’t seem to change.

      But it didn’t stop at a mere foot fetish. Oh no… it was much more than that. From as early as I could remember, all of my sexual fantasies involved me being dominated, in one form or another, by attractive members of the opposite sex. I found the allure of the powerful feminine archetype in movies and television to be utterly irresistible. Anything with female vampires? Sign me up!

      I also learned fairly early on that I should hide this truth to protect myself from being ridiculed by my peers. I learned that it's not masculine to have such desires, and that it's shameful. This led to me repressing a vital part of myself, which caused great dysfunction and even suicidal ideation in my young adulthood. After all, how can you achieve intimacy with a partner if you’ve learned that you can NEVER share your whole self?

      Of course, as I’ve matured and grown older, I’ve realised that I am very far from being alone in my sexual inclinations. You only have to watch Quentin Tarantino’s From Dusk Till Dawn, and the scene with Selma Hayek, to see that even one of the greatest directors to have lived shares this common type of fantasy.

      I have even now found myself a like-minded partner who has been so supportive of everything I do, and accepting of all of my quirks (and kinks!). But, that only came after years of working on myself, overcoming my fears of intimacy, and trying to understand myself better.

      I’m currently studying a Master's degree in Psychology at the University of Wolverhampton, and it is my ambition to go on and study a doctorate afterwards. I would like to contribute something of value to the field of science, which I adore. I would like to do a research piece on human sexual behaviour and paraphilias and help us, as a species, to understand more why such deviations occur. I want to uncover and share how paraphilias can be integrated healthily, without individuals needing to feel like I did; without feeling ashamed of a part of self that cannot be changed.

      With that being said, here is my brand: Defiant Deviants. This is my current contribution. This brand is a seed I have sown with the hope that, in due time, it will blossom and flourish to assist me in achieving the ambitions laid out in this written statement.

      If you’re on this page and you are indeed someone like me, with a ‘kinky’ sexuality, I want you to feel welcome here. I want you to know you don’t have to hide part of yourself, and that together, we can build a community one person at a time to make real global change.

      Please don’t hesitate to get in touch using the Contact page, or to make a donation (or purchase) to the cause. I hope to get to know you, as you have now gotten to know a personal and vulnerable part of me.

   With kindest regards,

      Defiant Deviant founder, K. (A.K.A. MyWifeOwnsMe)